Is Doing What You Want Exactly What You Need?
I’ve always been told what a difference there is between needing something and wanting it, especially as of late. You need air to keep you alive and you want the cookie because it tastes good; at least when needs and wants are on opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of priorities, it’s easy to distinguish the two. What happens when the things that you want end up being needed? They aren’t necessarily a need in the sense that they keep you alive, but they make you feel alive. These wants add a greater quality to your life for a finite duration of time.
After we have a taste of what it’s like to have that sense of desire satisfied, we want to experience it again. Then you have a choice, do you want to keep satisfying the desire, or do you hold off and wait so that the pay-off of the action is greater? Is either choice less self-serving? This goes for any want; it covers everything from cravings to addiction, and from innocent wants to selfish actions.
After we have a taste of what it’s like to have that sense of desire satisfied, we want to experience it again. Then you have a choice, do you want to keep satisfying the desire, or do you hold off and wait so that the pay-off of the action is greater? Is either choice less self-serving? This goes for any want; it covers everything from cravings to addiction, and from innocent wants to selfish actions.
What happens when we are so used to bending to our innocent wants? Our heavier desires seem just as easy to satisfy. We start wanting that want more than the needs that we have. We re-prioritize in order to satisfy our wants before our needs, and this is no different than going out of your way to cause your own self-destruction. Others go out of their way to avoid obtaining that want that they end up crashing down on themselves and do the same amount of damage as those who succumb to their desires.
You stop being able to tell what you wants are and stop being able to distinguish them from your needs. You call them needs, but they still aren’t keeping you alive. Do you need more time or do you need to reevaluate how you spend it? Do you need a better job or do you need to watch where your money is going? Do you need the extra plush pillow, the extra day off, the better phone, or any of the other excesses?
Here’s where it gets tricky. No you do not need the excess, but you may need the original. Your body needed some sugar and the candy gave you that satisfaction. Eating the third piece of candy doesn’t make you as happy as the first, it doesn’t taste as sweet. The third piece of candy is excess that has a lower value to you even though you crave the same value as the first piece.
You stop being able to tell what you wants are and stop being able to distinguish them from your needs. You call them needs, but they still aren’t keeping you alive. Do you need more time or do you need to reevaluate how you spend it? Do you need a better job or do you need to watch where your money is going? Do you need the extra plush pillow, the extra day off, the better phone, or any of the other excesses?
Here’s where it gets tricky. No you do not need the excess, but you may need the original. Your body needed some sugar and the candy gave you that satisfaction. Eating the third piece of candy doesn’t make you as happy as the first, it doesn’t taste as sweet. The third piece of candy is excess that has a lower value to you even though you crave the same value as the first piece.
... you do not need the excess, but you may need the original."
So we don’t need all the pieces of candy, we want them. We wanted the first too right? Not exactly. Satisfaction is something we get from satisfying our wants. Receiving satisfaction, however, is something that is needed. We all need to feel satisfied. We need that feeling of euphoria. So by doing what we want we generate a satiation that pacifies a basic need to be satisfied.
Here’s what I’ve learned, we need satisfaction, but satisfaction is not connected to one sole act. There are a variety of things that will satisfy you, the issues arise when we start filling the need to be satisfied with such minute pauses of gratification that we are constantly looking for more. It’s kind of like watching a person go through a pack of cigarettes in one day; they are satisfied only momentarily, and feed their needs with something that has a finite duration of satisfaction.
Here’s what I’ve learned, we need satisfaction, but satisfaction is not connected to one sole act. There are a variety of things that will satisfy you, the issues arise when we start filling the need to be satisfied with such minute pauses of gratification that we are constantly looking for more. It’s kind of like watching a person go through a pack of cigarettes in one day; they are satisfied only momentarily, and feed their needs with something that has a finite duration of satisfaction.
We need to find better wants to satisfy our need for satisfaction, if we do then the wants we struggle with will become easier to bear. Instead of being suffocated by a selfish desire that we must contend with, let’s find a want that bears fruit. Start small and stay strong.
At the end of the day there’s only one thing I know of that can truly take away the burn for unwelcome desires, and that’s a faithful life. Putting God and prayer at the center of your life will fulfill your need for satisfaction a hundred times over. Knowing with all of your heart that someone hears you in your hardest moments, cares for you when you’re in pain, and loves you even when you fall will satisfy you to the core. If you find yourself longing for such trivial things, stop yourself and wonder if you’re longing to be closer to God.
At the end of the day there’s only one thing I know of that can truly take away the burn for unwelcome desires, and that’s a faithful life. Putting God and prayer at the center of your life will fulfill your need for satisfaction a hundred times over. Knowing with all of your heart that someone hears you in your hardest moments, cares for you when you’re in pain, and loves you even when you fall will satisfy you to the core. If you find yourself longing for such trivial things, stop yourself and wonder if you’re longing to be closer to God.